| SEX, LOVE, AND PAIN |
Thug Life: Thug Love sold separately
Showing posts with label Sex Love and Pain. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sex Love and Pain. Show all posts
SEX, LOVE, AND PAIN: LOVE ON LOCKDOWN
| SEX, LOVE, AND PAIN |
Hey Hey Hey!!!! What’s up ladies and gents? I want to jump right into this topic because this is a topic that hits very close to home. So let’s get to it.
SEX, LOVE, AND PAIN: WHO IS WHO??
Hey ET6’ers,
| SEX, LOVE, AND PAIN |
Hey hey hey!!!!! Guess who’s bizzack???? Its meeeeee ya girl, ya friend ya dirty lil secret, Jewel. I’ve been gone for a minute but I’m back with the jump off. LOL I know it’s been a minute but let’s chat!!!! I’m hoping that everyone is moving and shaking and all that good stuff, and buying ET6 Apparel to do it in!!! *hint hint*lol
So let’s dance…..
Sex Love And Pain : "TO TELL OR NOT TO TELL?" THAT IS THE QUESTION....
Dear Et6'ers,
Welcome to the new site!!!! I hope all are loving it and finding it easier to navigate. As for me I love it. How was everyone's week? Mine was smooth not too much in the way of drama and madness (which I'm so used to, that I kind of missed it). You guys all know that I find inspiration in anything and this week was no different. I was having a conversation with one of my male friends and was struck by something he said. While I normally don't draw opinions on people based on the way they deal with their significant others this time was a little different.....
Communication is key in any relationship. I believe it's a full time job and by far the hardest part of the relationship. Most relationship failures happen when the communication breaks down and for some reason or another one person begins to shut down.
In some cases it can even be the total opposite where there can even be a such thing as TMI (Too Much Information) in a relationship. Anyway, during this conversation I was having with my friend he said "I tell my girl everything..." I simply replied "That's deep" I was intrigued by his openness but I was also more aware than ever that the word "everything" is objective. (definition of objective: expressing or dealing with facts or conditions as perceived without distortion by personal feelings, prejudices, or interpretations. Translation: Its based on your personal feelings or interpretation)
"Everything"
MY PERSONAL THOUGHTS ON THIS, ARE AS FOLLOWS:
TELL WHEN NECESSARY: IF THERE IS A GIRL THAT THINKS YOUR ATTRACTIVE AT WORK, KEEP IT TO YOURSELF. AS LONG AS NO LINES ARE CROSSED THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THIS. BESIDES EVERYONE NEEDS A EGO STROKE EVERY NOW AND THEN IT'S HUMAN NATURE. NOW IF THIS CHICK TOUCHES YOU AND TRIES TO STROKE SOMETHING OTHER THAN YOUR EGO, I BETTER BE FILLED IN.
GUYS WHO RUN BACK TO THEIR GIRL WITH EVERY LITTLE THING, ARE A TURN OFF. LIKE DUDE GET A BACK BONE, GROW A SET, BE A MAN. GOSSIPING IS FOR BITCHES. (ITS EVEN UGLY WHEN CHICKS DO IT, SO STOP IT)
I ALSO FEEL THAT MEN AND WOMEN ALIKE WILL TELL MORE WHEN THERE IS A LACK OF TRUST. IF A MAN FEELS HIS WOMAN DOESN'T TRUST HIM, HE MAY FEEL INCLINED TO TELL HER EVERYTHING THAT WENT ON WHEN HE WENT OUT WITH THE BOYS.
STOP... DON'T DO IT.
THIS IS NOT GONNA DO ANYTHING BUT HURT YOU (men) IN THE LONG RUN. WE,(WOMEN) GET ACCUSTOMED TO THINGS VERY FAST AND AS MUCH AS WE WILL DENY IT, ONCE MAKES A HABIT WITH US. THE FIRST TIME THAT YOU NEGLECT TO GIVE US THE RUN DOWN WE WILL GO OFF. LADIES, MEN ARE JUST THE SAME. THEY ARE CREATURES OF HABIT JUST LIKE WOMEN IF NOT WORSE.
I say focus on you and your mate, when in each others company talk about the current events in each others lives but leave the small petty stuff out. If you run out of things to talk about bring up current events nonsensical talking will only cause stupid disagreements. How many times have you been riding in the car with your significant other and the car has gone silent. In an attempt to strike conversation you say something like this "The other day when we were out a guy stopped me and told me I looked familiar and that he knew me from somewhere. He was talking like he knew me and then he asked me for my number."? Hes not going to immediately say anything but he's thinking something along the lines of "oh, yeah? I wonder what else happened when you were out" The next time you wanna go out expect an unnecessary attitude and probably a fake fight.
What do you think is too much information in a relationship? Do you even think there is a such thing as TMI in a relationship?
I wanna know what you guys think?
I in summary believe you should "Keep it Cute or Keep it on MUTE." lol
Hit me up lets talk ET6jewel@gmail.com xoxo
Love,
Jewel
Sex Love And Pain : "I Used To Love Him"
Dear ET6'ersInspiration comes in the craziest unexpected times from the most unexpected source. Today I was in the car driving to get something to eat. I was heading to Panera and Mr Cee was going in. His "Oh Sh!t" song of the day was "I Used To Love Him" by Lauryn Hill and immediately one of my exes popped into my head.
First off let me start off by saying that the album that the song comes from is "The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill". This album meant so much because I could relate to that miseducation. I could relate to the whole growing up but already knowing you were grown. I could directly relate to finding out that everything I thought I knew was a lie. (Those are topics for another day.)
Back to my original thoughts, my mind was all over the place this song had me toe' up. The songs lyrics really had me thinking how I had allowed myself to fall so deep in lust that I became helpless DON'T act like you never been sexed so good that you sipped and fell the same way, remember that man that had you sick. we all had one) I'm about to break it down for y'all, lyrics-to-life.
As I look at what I've done (Falling for someone I had no business even knowing) The type of life that I've lived (disobedient reckless, careless) How many things I pray the father will forgive (7 deadly sins became 700 with this situation) One situation involved a young man (this boy was everything I never had and everything I never needed) He was the ocean and I was the sand (total opposites yet we went so well together) He stole my heart like a thief in the night (I never expected to fall in love with him, it just happened) Dulled my senses blurred my sight (and when i fell, nothing else mattered, couldn't see, hear taste smell touch if it was not about him)
I used to love him but now I don't
I used to love him but now I don't
I chose a road of passion and pain (I had choices and I chose to go with what i was feeling the passion that was leading to pain) Sacrificed too much and waited in vain (I lost money time sleep relationships and myself) Gave up my power ceased being queen (I forgot the key "I had the Pu$$y so I make the rules" so I was no longer in charge) Addicted to love like the drug of a fiend (I had become addicted by any means necessary I had to have it I had to have him)
(This was the point where he decided that he had all of me that he wanted, and he was done. He didn't say it but he definitely showed it)
Torn and confused wasted and used (I was hurt couldn't understand what happened, I felt used and as if I wasted all of me on him) Reached the crossroad which path would I choose (I was at the point that i had to decide was I gonna do. was i gonna move on or stay in pain) Stuck and frustrated I waited, debated (I was stuck couldn't make a decision i cried i screamed i yelled at myself and i just waited) For something to happen that just wasn't fated (I was hoping he would have changed his mind and came back I was desperate I just wanted anything to happen) Thought what I wanted was something I needed (I really had mistaken my necessities and screwed up my priorities. I thought he was a necessity when in reality he was just a want)When momma said no I just should have heeded (My mommy told me he was no good and I still had to touch fire to know it was hot.) Misled I bled till the poison was gone (I was in love with who I wanted him to be, his representation. I had never even met the real him until the moment he disappeared and i cried it all out like bleeding to death) And out of the darkness arrived the sweet dawn (and Before i knew it i was all cried out and getting back to normal, I prayed and cried and prayed and cried but GOD)
I used to love him but now I don't
I used to love him but now I don't
Father you saved me and showed me that life (God let me know that it wasn't the end of the world it was the end of the world with him) Was much more than being some foolish man's wife (and that life was much more than him and being with him when he couldn't even see how good he Had it) Showed me that love was respect and devotion (I learned exactly what love wasn't and with that came the priceless knowledge of what love is. Respect, devotion, Support, admiration, faith etc)Greater than planets deeper than oceans (LOVE is bigger than anything I could have ever known with that dude) My soul was weary but now it's replenished (and I was going to find love, LOVE with myself) Content because that part of my life is finished (I was so happy that, that part of my life was over)
(Years passed and I continuously worked on me and became stronger and better. I had not seen him at all..... but then.)
I see him sometimes and the look in his eye (I ran into him and we spoke and I looked at him face to face eye to eye I was grown now) Is one of a man who's lost treasures untold (and I could see he was amazed that i was not broken and sad that he let me go) But my heart is gold I took back my soul (I was over him and because of that I was not mad not even a little, I learned from his foolishness and I was grateful. My heart was full of love for me that I couldn't and wouldn't lend a piece of it to hate him. That really amazed him. So much so that I never brought it up and he apologized.) And totally let my creator control (I didn't have to do anything to him because GOD takes care of it all and Karma fixed him) The life which was his to begin with (I had forgot that God is in control, that was my biggest mistake)
I share this with you just to let you know that not everything good to you is good for you. I was head over heels, inside out over this guy, but he was not the one. Of course back then you couldn't tell me that and I damn near lost myself trying to force fit him into my life. Ladies trying to force a man to be "the one" is like going dancing with a shoe 2 sizes to small. It looks good from the outside but your hurting just for the look. Its not worth the scars and hurt you are going to be left with. Learn from my TRUE REAL LIFE EXPERIENCE.
I used to love him but now I don't
I LOVE YOU GUYS!
LOVE,
JEWEL
EPIC TEAM 6 Presents : Lady Of A Valiant Essence brought to you by Just Adore It
Not So Random Randomness
My computer is finally back up and running. I just could not type a whole blog on a dreaded touch screen phone. It just was not happening. As much as I LOVES ME SOME Y'ALL I just couldn't do it. None the less I'm back and I missed you guys. I must say I don't feel the love because i don't get emails or questions from you guys. Don't worry i wont hold it against you guys, i still love y'all. this week i wanna talk about some of the most random things possible. if y'all know me y'all know ain't a damn thing random about these topics lol. I write about things near and dear to my heart whether its from the experiences of friends or from the pages of my own life
I want you to listen to what i am about to say very closely, because you will miss it if you don't. RELATIONSHIPS ARE HARD WORK. This simply means that if you want to be in a healthy loving relationship you must work for it. Put your ego down, lay your pride to the side and bring your head out of the clouds. In my opinion, relationships are like job/careers (quick affairs=jobs, long terms loves =careers). Both parties should ALWAYS be working for their pay. The pay in this case would be the love, companionship, respect, affection and all the other perks that come with a healthy relationship. Yes quality cookies and great peen is included in those perks. that will come with time. It should never be the main focus of the relationship. Trey and I didn't have to tell you that "sex aint better than love" Y'all knew that already, right? lol just nod, smile and pretend you did. I promise not to judge you.
In any functioning relationship there will be times that you will make decisions that you would not normally make if you were single. These decisions wont be remotely close to your normal thought pattern. Yet and still it will make perfect sense because its for the greater good of the relationship. Example: you want to get a brand new motorcycle rather than getting a car. Simply because you want a bike and that's how you feel. She is terrified of motor bikes and she needs a ride too. You get a new car instead. You see, you knew exactly what you wanted and the reasons why yet and still you chose the car. It was for the greater good of the relationship. IF BOTH PARTIES ARE NOT WILLING TO BE DEDICATED TO THE SAME GOAL YOU ARE BOTH WASTING TIME. WHILE RELATIONSHIPS ARE HARD WORK, THEY SHOULD BE FAIRLY EASY. WATCH THIS, IF YOU LOVE WHAT YOU FOR A LIVING YOU WILL NEVER WORK A DAY IN YOUR LIFE. THE SAME IS TRUE FOR LOVE.
I guess I'm saying this to remind myself that I cannot control every aspect of anything, including my relationship. I have to let love live, by learning to compromise. So much for being a damn Taurus. lol....
Since the last time we spoke I discovered that I had a crush. I believe that crushes are completely healthy and necessary in healthy relationships. First off let me say this, I shocked the sh!t out of myself when i noticed that I had this crush. i felt so child like, so weird so good. It was refreshing to see that someone could still be intriguing enough to strike that hidden crush nerve. Crushes are innocent until lines get crossed. I'm gonna leave that at that... (i'm sure you guys will ask if i crossed them. Its more fun when you create your own ending)
Next topic.... Drum Roll Please......... (tapping on my own desk lol)
PORN....
I was never really big on porn. I just couldn't see the point in watching someone else do what i should and could be doing. lol. I must say i was pleasantly surprised to see that so many woman admitted to watching porn with and without their lover. i was even more surprised to find out how many of them own their own porn. I all of a sudden felt like a creep for not doing it lol. Im asking you, what are your feelings on porn in and out of the relationship?
Email me at ET6Jewel@gmail.com
Before I go I leave you with this quote to think about.... it will be mentioned next week... Open Relationships!
"There's nothing wrong with sexual feelings in themselves, so long as they are straightforward and not sneaking or sly. The right sort of sex stimulus is invaluable to human daily life. Without it the world grows grey." D.H Lawrence ATTRIBUTION
Sex Love And Pain : VIRTUAL REALITY OR VIRTUAL INSANITY....
Dear ET6'ers,
I hope that all of you guys had a great week and I hope that you are looking forward to a great weekend (sh!t i know I am, cheers to the freakin weekend I'll drink to that). Today I want to talk about Social Networking and the effects on a relationship, both good and bad. This topic is kind of personal for me whereas I have had my own share of drama associated with social networking. My personal experience has brought me to understand this and this alone, SOCIAL NETWORKS HAVE BECOME THE LAND OF MAKE BELIEVE.
I personally feel like the world of social networking has become a safe haven for frauds. I look at all of my 600 plus friends on facebook (all of whom I know personally) and I see the difference between the people I know and the profilesI see. Example: I know a young lady who was quiet and very soft spoken in person and according to facebook she is a hard partying "model". I understand that people change but the reality and the virtual reality are not adding up, somethings are not making sense. I decided to watch and evaluate before I posted this next blog as a matter of research. I have been looking at the interactions of singles and people in relationships on social networks and boy oh boy is there a lot to be said.
As I watched the thirst levels of single women and men go through the roof for people who have set there status to "in a relationship" or "engaged to" I couldn't help but laugh and wonder "WTH is going on here?"
MY STORY, MY SPACE AND MYSPACE
When MYSPACE was the "it" site to be a part of I was in a new relationship. I was on MYSPACE he was not. I never had any arguments or confrontations with him about any other females. Things were good for us, we were happy. A couple months passed (MYSPACE was getting more popular) he comes to me and says "One of my home boys suggested that I see what this myspace thing is all about, will you help me set it up?" I oblige. After all we are grown, what could be the trouble in something so innocent??? WE set it up. OH BOY WAS THIS A SET UP....
Fast Forward a few months.....
There was about 100 new female friends (which I'm cool with) 98 of them were having inappropriate communications (which i am not cool with) I felt a Lil angry and betrayed because there I was helping him become part of the movement that was myspace and there he was helping himself to a handful of groupies. I had handed him a loaded gun and told him to fire it was all too perfect. This is when I started remembering that password that I had helped him set u, the password that he had neglected to change. I went in and I was in no way shape or form ready for what I was about to see. (Do not judge me because idc what you men are being told all women look and investigate at one time or another)
The man I knew...
The attention that my man was receiving from people he couldn't even see had turned him into someone I didn't even know. Someone that was cocky, rude and single. The exes were back with a vengeance, the fat asses and chicks without faces were flooding his inbox and the ghetto hood rats were after whatever was left. It was critical. I had to check him, I had to check the situation and if all else failed I was not above CHECKING a bitch or 2. (I have grown since then lol) NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE DOCUMENTATION OF THIS EVENT LOL.... I diffused the situation and every thing was cool. I showed up, spoke up and threatened to show out if things didnt change. They changed
Facebook...
Facebook changed the face of relationships all together by simply allowing us to broadcast and announce breakups with the click of one button. Break ups have never been easier or more embarrassing lol...
Twitter....
I tried, I was a tweeter but there's nothing but trouble on that site. Everyone is a thug, model and a boss, I just can't deal at least not right now. People think the more followers they have the more powerful they are, I couldn't disagree more. To me twitter was like the devils advocate of all social networking sites. It could be so good and then flip and use the good against you.
I wanna hear your stories of love and social networking.... email me at et6jewel@gmail.com or post comments here lets talk
What exactly is too much on these sites?
When the line is crossed what would you do?
Have you had to check someone for allowing a social network change them? have you been checked?
Sex Love And Pain : The Other Woman.... Who created this Monster? HE DID
Oh how I have missed you guys.... Whats new? I have been so busy these last couple of weeks its crazy. But I'm here and I couldn't wait to talk to you guys.
Today's topic is " The Other Women" On the last topic someone posed a great question. The question basically read, "Why do girls feel that throwing pu$$y at a man who is in a relationship puts them in the running to become wifey? Naturally when i read the question a number of things happened in my mind. The greatest of all of these things was, i began to think like a man....
Men often think with their Smaller heads, and without logic and emotion (women are the total opposite everything with us is reason, logic and emotion). It is easy for a male to be in a great relationship and still seek outside of that relationship for sexual satisfaction. This DOES NOT MEAN THAT THE GIRLFRIEND, SPOUSE OR MAIN CHICK IS NOT FULFILLING HIS NEEDS (we will revisit this).
Logically thinking (as us women do) you would automatically assume that a man that is having an affair is unhappy at home and that is not always the case. Men sometimes cheat based on the simple fact that they can. Nothing more nothing less. This is where the confusion starts. The other woman is thinking "I must be doing something right because hes f#ck!ng me, I know its only a matter of time before he leaves her". SMH is all I can do because some women make themselves believe this garbage.
Men are able to "slang that thang" without catching any type of feelings or emotions because to them its just sex. You see, the "other women" tend to believe that when they give good sex and "put it on him" they are making him fall in love, the truth is she is falling in love and he is falling into the pu$$y.
Simply put and I'm sure that the women will stone me for this: Women equate sex to love.
A man can be getting 3 hot meals a day, his bath water ran, back rubbed and sex 7 nights a week and will still cheat. Yes, he is wrong and I am not in any way condoning this behavior but lets be real. If someone threw a football at you full speed, you would catch it right? Well think of men and all the pu$$y being thrown around them, to them and at them all day every day. Women are thinking and talking about sex just as much as men and they are becoming the aggressors. Men can't help themselves, they become like kids in a candy store.
(Fellas I'm talking to you) The trouble is when the man issues false promises and reassurance to the "other woman". He is telling her things like "its all about you, I love you and there is no one else that matters" He is WEAK. WEAK because he doesn't realize that he is putting too much on it for nothing. He doesn't realize that she would give up the buns for next to nothing, so with his lies he is creating the monster she is becoming. Be real if you wanna f#ck say that, if that's what it is keep it real. There will be no room for error this way, everyone knows their role and no one should step outta line. NO PILLOW TALK AT ALL- Do not go telling this chick your personal or relationship business, if you do you are handing her a loaded gun.
Ladies your argument should never be with the other woman she owes you nothing, You have to step to him and have a serious discussion about where he is and where he wants to be. If in fact he loves respects and values you he will straighten up and fly right. There is nothing worse than 2 women fighting over a man. DO NOT DO IT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES It shows immaturity and a lack of class and self respect. Calm, cool and collected is the way to approach the situation and never without research (ALWAYS DO YOUR HOMEWORK KNOW WHO IS WHO AND WHAT IS WHAT). MEN LIE, WOMEN LIE but PROOF PUTS ALL THAT SHIT TO BED!!!!!
I hope this helps answer the other woman questions, if there is anything you need to know or want to know please feel free to email me at ET6Jewel@gmail.com I cant wait to answer all questions.
Remember no sex is worth dying over, wrap it up!!!
Love,
Jewel
Sex Love and Pain: The Girlfriend vs. The Girl Friend
Dear Et6'ers
First let me start out by saying, RIP Whitney Houston. The death of such a brilliant star has brought me to say a few things before I start with the scheduled topic. Love is very powerful and if its not used in the correct way it can be down right dangerous. Love yourself enough know when you need help, don't let life control you control your life. Addiction is a disease and without help you can and will be killed mentally , spiritually and emotionally by this disease. If anyone you know is struggling with addiction get them help, encourage them to move toward fighting the disease before its too late.
OK, let me wipe my tears and begin focusing on the reason we are all here today, Dirty talk.
Today's topic is..... *drum roll please*...... The Girlfriend vs. The Girl Friend
Relationships are complicated enough with just the fundamental difference between men and women. It leaves you wishing that you had an instruction manual with the do's and don'ts of love. Well until there is such a manual, just use Sex Love and Pain *shameless plug*. The outside world can and will definitely throw all types of curve balls into your love life. The hardest to catch is that of the "Girl Friend".
LADIES I'M GONNA TALK TO Y'ALL FOR A MINUTE SO PLEASE GET A NOT PAD..... (FELLAS DON'T GO TO FAR I NEED Y'ALL IN A FEW)
In my experience with the "Girl Friend" situation. 99.9% of the time the friendship starts as an attraction. One of the parties or both of the parties has felt the attraction for the other. It isn't until one of the involved parties decides that they do not want to pursue the romantic relationship and places the the other in the "friend zone" (Friend Zone: the area of ones life where there is absolutely no chance of sex or romantic involvement)
The "friend zone" SHOULD NOT not be mistaken for a waiting room. PLEASE PAY ATTENTION I SAID THE FRIEND ZONE IS NOT A WAITING ROOM.... #MESSAGE
A very close woman to me has put many men into her friend zone, but she goes in the friend zone and throws them mixed signals. THIS IS ALL THE WAY WRONG... IF YOU PUT SOMEONE IN THE FRIEND ZONE LET THEM STAY THERE AND TREAT THEM APPROPRIATELY.
The problem starts when the "Girl Friend" begins to think that that she is more important and more powerful than the girlfriend.
Example: Girl Friend calls and says "Hey, I'm in Brooklyn (you and your man are in White Plains) my car has broken down, will you come get me?" Him: Im with my girl, so I can't. Her: well I need you cant you drop her off and do it? i'm waiting for you bye. Him: Ok, I'm coming.
This is the point when lines and signals get crossed.
What do you say? what do you do? who are you mad at him or her?
Let me tell what you say do and who the problem is with?
First you address the fact that you have to be dropped off in order for the friend to be picked up. You acknowledge the issue and tell him how you feel. if its uncomfort, if its jeaolousy, if its distrust its its betrayal say it. Say exactly how you feel. If she is a REAL friend she knows you and her place and will respect your union. If she does not respect your union she is not a real friend.
Please understand that communication in this situation is imperative. Every one involved must know their role, play it and respect it. There is no room for a grey area. Clarity is key, you have to speak up, he has to speak up and the "Girl Friend" has to know when to be quiet.
That's the bottom line.
Men, this is where I need you guys to speak up. What are your relationships like between your "Girlfriend" and your "Girl Friends"? email me at Et6jewel@gmail.com I want all the juice, give it to me. "Gimme that funk that sweet that nasty that gushy stuff"
Ladies tell me what you have experienced, what happened what was said "I gotta know what's goin on?" *tiny's voice*
Lets talk its just you and I....
Always remember that "Closed mouths don't get fed and closed legs don't get head!!!!"
Love,
Jewel.
Sex Love and Pain: What's your title?
Dear ET6'ers
OMG how I missed you guys!?! I have had some real life issues (My blackberry and computer crashed at the same damn time the tech Gods were angry with me) within the last 2 weeks and sadly it has caused me to neglect all of you. I AM SOOOOOOOO VERRRRRRYYYYYY SORRRRRRRRYYYYY! LOL and here's a big wet kiss from me to you :-*.
OK, no time to waste lots of ground to cover and I don't wanna miss a beat, so shall we dance?
This weeks topic is very touchy and it happened to be submitted by a woman, so the fellas should enjoy this.
Question: Why is it that titles have become so important in relationships and what do I do if I don't get the title I desire in the time that I want it.?
First lets start with a little education, and lets define the word title.
Definition of TITLE (courtesy of our good friends at Websters online Dictionary GET FAMILIAR)
1 a: all the elements constituting legal ownership b: a legally just cause of exclusive possession c: the instrument (as a deed) that is evidence of a right
2 a: something that justifies or substantiates a claim b: an alleged or recognized right
3 a: an appellation of dignity, honor, distinction, or preeminence attached to a person or family by virtue of rank, office, precedent, privilege, attainment, or lands b: a person holding a title especially of nobility
Keep this definition in mind we will be coming back to this.
Life demands that we put so much more value on the unseen, unwritten and unimportant things than necessary. When it comes to matters of the heart its the same remains true. Titles (when it comes to relationships) are like unwritten contracts with the other person. The title lets you know what your limits are and what rights you have in a particular relationship.
Titles played such a HUGE role in my younger relationships, so much so that it caused me humiliation, pain and confusion. In hind sight I now see that most of my heart breaks happened I was in love with the title itself. (go ahead read it again, deep right?) The title becomes a diversion, a distraction from what is really going on in the relationship.
Ladies, allow me to expose our secrets for a brief minute I promise I won't give too much away.
Fellas pay close attention you may learn something here....
Ladies love the idea of being the ONLY ONE however that's not what we expect from every guy. What we are looking for is honesty and someone who is real. Here's where its gets complicated. If I ask you for honesty just be truthful. If all you wanna do is f#ck be honest, If you just wanna be friends be honest. In my opinion, (which is the only opinion that counts in life lol) men hear the word honesty and bug the freak out, not even realizing what you are asking him. The conversation that men dread so much, you know the one that starts with "Babe, what are we, what am I to you?" is imperative to have. This is your chance to lay down your expectations for whatever it is that you are doing with this female. If you only want sex, let her know because I can bet my last dollar she only wants the same thing. That saves you months of weird awkwardness and ducking and dodging phone calls when someone is catching feelings.
The first weeks of a new "courtship" are the best because that is when both men and women PERFORM (as in acting not just sex) the best. I mean come on ladies we lays it on thick and I'm not just talking about the make-up We lotion from head to toe in the sweetest smelling lotion we can find (giving ourselves a headache) We even change our vocal tone and our laugh for the first couple of weeks. The lashes stay full, the breast are extra lifted and the jeans extra tight. Yeah I'm putting it all out there. So my question is, what is the incentive to do all of this? You guessed correctly the idea of getting to the next level. How do you know when you are at the next level? Yup you are right again, when your title changes you see your status change for better or worse.
Lets take this a step further though.... If you are doing all of this extra-ness (yes that's a word, because I said so) for a man who is so perfect and you have know him for 13 days what exactly is driving you to do so? His character or the idea of having a title in relation to this man? I'm not gonna embarrass any one so when you read this don't make any faces or point your girl friends out just keep it quiet and take in the information ( you can tell home girl to read this though)
Like anything you do in life you want progression and you want to see change. When you diet, you want to see the scale go down. When you do a good job at work you wanna see your pay go up and when you go down like a champ (yes now I'm talking about sex) you wanna see that title go up like a winning score.
You see, if you look at that definition its really written to express ownership. So the title gives you the right to say things like MY boo, My man, My fiance or My husband. Lets keep it funky though in the hood chicks say things like My boy, My homie, My bff and the infamous MY BRO (lol you can stop fronting now the world now knows you f#cked or s#cked him) This should explain the importance of the Title in a relationship.
Nowwwww comes the easy part if you are giving the milk away for free there is no reason for him to buy the cow..... and that means exactly what is said. If you are tossing him the pu$$y, the time, the money (yes I said it) and everything in between why should he commit? I mean hes getting it all anyway without giving you anything but hard d!ck.... The only thing he should give you is a dunce cap for being so dumb.
If you find that you are expecting to move up in the ranks faster than you are actually moving you need to do the following: A. evaluate yourself and what you are giving in this situation B. evaluate him and how much he's worth C. make a direct comparison and contrast between A and B. When that is done you have to now analyze the data, if A. is more than B at any point you my friend are that milk giving cow we spoke about. Its time to close down the welfare line to your cookies and move on.
I mean I can't get any more blunt or straight forward with you gals. Know your worth and like a price tag let it show, the greatest Love of all is self love.
In keeping up with the trend I'm leaving you on a positive note, What goes around comes around so make it good. Send out the positivity and get it all back. *muah*
Love,
Sex Love and Pain - Technical Difficulties
I'm having technology issues smh. Phone
down computer down life down... Lol soon
come though with the heat.... Xoxo
Jewel..
Sex Love & Pain: Jewel Thoughts & Answers
Dear ET6'ersWOW!!!! What a week? You guys have been nothing short of amazing and I love and appreciate you all. Thank You for the support and love, y'all sure know how to make a girl feel special. *hugs and kisses*
The original plan was for me to post once a week but the response is calling for more, therefore I will be posting on Wednesday to follow up on all questions and comments and new topics will be released on Friday. If necessary I can post more but lets work on this system and see how this works for both of us.
Now that we have gotten all the mushy love and business out the way, lets get dirty.
I must say I love how blunt you all are when you ask your questions, I literally had my jaw drop (get your minds out the gutter lol) a few times when I read some of the questions. So sit down and get ready because its about to get hot in here.
I was inboxed questions through all of the methods of communications. I mean,I had FB messages, texts, emails, bbms and then there were the comments posted here on the blog itself. Shall we begin?
Starting with my love-bugs who posted here....
Question: Why are women leaving there men for women and starting to call themselves gay?
TALK ABOUT LAYING IT ON THICK LOL. THIS IS A VERY GOOD QUESTION HOWEVER THERE IS NO RIGHT OR WRONG ANSWER. THERE ARE NUMEROUS REASONS THAT A GIRL WILL LEAVE HER MAN. RELATIONSHIPS ARE VERY FRAGILE AND IT TAKES ALMOST NOTHING TO SEND THEM FOR A WHIRLWIND IN EITHER DIRECTION. I WILL GIVEYOU MY TOP 3 REASONS AND YOU CAN RESPOND AS TO WHAT YOU THINK IS GOING ON IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP AND WE CAN EXPLORE IT MORE.
HEART BREAK. WE WOMEN TAKE A LOT WHEN IT COMES TO LOVE. WOMEN WHO HAVE BEEN WRONGED BY A MAN OR MEN IN THE PAST ALMOST ALWAYS WILL TRY THE GRASS ON THE OTHER SIDE.
THIS IS BECAUSE THE FORM OF HURT AND THE PAIN IS CONNECTED TO THE MALE FIGURE. WHILE YOU MAY HAVE NOT BEEN THE ONE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE HURT YOU ARE A MAND AND BY DEFAULT YOU ARE.
SOCIETY: BASED ON SOCIETY AND POP CULTURE "WE" HAVE BEEN FLOODED WITH THE IMAGES OF GIRL/GIRL RELATIONSHIPS AND THEY ARE OFTEN ASSOCIATED WITH THE "IN" THING TO DO(MEN/MEN RELATIONSHIPS AS WELL BUT THATS NOT TODAYS TOPIC YET). NOT FOLLOWING WHAT IM SAYING? OK LETS WALK DOWN MEMORY LANE A LITTLE BIT....
1997:ELLEN "COMES OUT" AS GAY ON HER PRIME TIME NATIONALLY SYNDICATED SITCOM.
IN MY OPINION AMERICA WAS FORCED TO PAY ATTENTION TO THE CHANGING TIMES WHEN THIS HAPPENED
IN THE 2000'S MADONNA AND BRITTNEY SPEARS KISS ON LIVE T.V., LADY GAGA CONFUSED EVERYONE LOL, KATY PERRY KISSED A GIRL AND LIKED IT SO MUCH THAT SHE MADE US ALL LIKE IT. THEN EVERYONE FROM NICKI MINAJ TO RIHANNA MADE MENTIONS IN THEIR MUSIC OR OTHERWISE OF THEIR "FANTASIES"
ITS SAD BUT BEING BI OR GAY FOR SOME IS JUST A FAD, SOMETHING TO DO.... ALL BECAUSE SOCIETY SAYS ITS HOT!
CURIOSITY: THE THOUGHT OF HOW SEXY WOMEN ARE AND THINKING HEY WHAT IF? SOME WOMEN CARRY THIS THOUGHT TO THE GRAVE OTHERS DECIDE AT SOME POINT THAT THEY WANNA ACT ON IT AND..... THEY DO. LET ME SHARE A LITTLE SECRET WITH YOU GUYS. YOURS TRULY YES THE GREAT FANTABULOUS ME, HAS THOUGHT ABOUT IT.... I WILL LET YOU GUYS SPECULATE AS TO WHAT I CHOSE TO DO.... ( INSERT RUMORS HERE LOL) THATS ANOTHER TOPIC FOR ANOTHER DAY....
I HOPE THIS HELPS LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK LETS TALK MORE....
NEXT QUESTION WAS ON LOVE LOST....
LOSING A LOVE IS NEVER EASY AND WHIL IN THE MIDST OF THE SITUATION YOU FEEL LIKE THE WORLD IS ENDING AND LIKE TONI FELT IN HER SONG, YOU WILL NEVER BREATHE AGAIN BUT LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING. I'M A FIRM BELIEVER IN THE FACT THAT EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON. SO WHEN ITS OVER ITS OVER. YOU GOTTA REMEMBER WHY YOU WALKED AWAY FROM THAT LOVE IN THE FIRST PLACE. EVEN IF YOU MESSED UP AND YOU NOW REALIZE YOU MADE A TERRIBLE MISTAKE, YOU CAN NEVER, NEVER NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER *SMOKEY FROM FRIDAY VOICE* GO BACK! IT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME.
YOU CANNOT MOVE FORWARD IF YOU ARE CONSTANTLY LOOKING BEHIND YOU. ITS UNFAIR TO THE YOUNGLADY YOU ARE WITH NOW, SO IF YOU WANNA LIVE IN THE PAST LET HER GO. NO ONE WANTS TO BE PLAYED WITH.
HOWEVER IF YOU LOVER HER AND WANT TO BE HAPPY CHECK THE BAGS AT THE DOOR AND MOVE FORWARD.... WITH HER
Question: How do I introduce my new girlfriend to my family? I'm not sure they will accept her.
THE BEST WAY TO INTRODUCE A NEW LOVE TO THE IS OVER DINNER OF COURSE. THIS MAY BE TRICKY BECAUSE IF YOUR PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIP WAS A LONG ONE AND ONE WHERE THE FAMILY LIKED THE EX, YOU SHOULD READY FOR JUST ABOUT ANYTHING. HAVE YOUR NEW LOVE BE HERSELF, DONT LAY IT ON TOO THICK. MOMS HAVE BUILT IN BULL SH!T DETECTORS. IF YOUR MOM IS ANYTHING LIKE MINE SHE WILL PULL THAT CARD AND EXPOSE THE TRUTH. THERE IS A SILVER LINING THOUGH, YOU HAVE THE LAST WORD ON THIS. IFYOU STAND YOUR GROUND AND YOU LOVE AND WANT TO BE WITH THIS PERSON YOUR FAMILY WILL RESPECT HER AND THATS WHAT MATTERS. SHOOT, IF YOU PLAY YOUR CARDS RIGHT MAYBE YOU CAN ALL GO TO JAMAICA AND PLAY WITH STAR FISH LIKE JIMMY, CHRISSY AND MAMA JONES DID LOL (REALITY TV IS A HOT EFFING MESS)
Question: What do I do when my mate gets jealous for no reason?
BABY, RUN AND RUN FAST. IM KIDDING UNLESS YOU GON' DO IT *NELLY VOICE* OK HERES THE REAL ANSWER. TALK TO HIM/HER LET THEM KNOW HOW THEIR JEALOUSY MAKES YOU FEEL AND WHAT IT MAKES YOU WANNA DO (LEAVE AND CHEAT, THERE I SAID IT SO YOU WON'T HAVE TO) OR YOU CAN SAY "BABY READ THIS" BRING HER TO THE COMPUTER SHOW HER MY BLOG AND POINT TO THIS --------> B!TCH QUIT PLAYING DONT NO BODY WANT AN INSECURE FOOL AROUND, KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE AND WHAT YOUR WORTH AND ACT ACCORDINGLY, 'CUZ IM FINNA LEAVE YO A$$ FOR BEING STUPID!
LOL THIS SHOULD FIX THE ISSUE.
NEXT BABY MAMA DRAMA.....
Question: What do you do when you have kids with your ex and your new girl gets upset when ever the baby mama calls?
THIS IS SIMPLE, WITH ALL THE TECHNOLOGY AROUND TELL THE BABY MAMA TO STOP CALLING AND SEND AN EMAIL OR TEXT OR A FB OR SOMETHING LOLLLLLLLLLL (I CRACKS MYSELF UP)
OK HERES THE REAL DEAL WITH THIS, "BABY MAMAS" GET CRAZY SOMETIMES THEY USE THE KIDS AS PAWNS AND THEY TRY TO MAKE LIFE AS MISERABLE AS POSSIBLE FOR THE NEW GIRL. ITS UNFAIR. ASK YOUR WOMAN HOW SHE FEELS TALK ABOUT IT SEE WHAT SHE HAS TO SAY AND THEN YOU AS THE MAN HANDLE THE "BABY MAMA" LET HER KNOW THAT THERE WILL BE A MUTUAL RESPECT AND THAT THE KIDS COME FIRST ANY THING ELSE WOULD BE UNCIVILIZED. THIS WILL WORK IF YOU ARE DEALING WITH WOMEN. THIS WILL GO SOOOOOO WRONG IF THESE ARE GIRLS. KNOW WHO YOU ARE DELAING WITH AND REMEMBER THE KIDS GET LOST IN THE SHUFFLE IF THIS ISNT FIXED. THE "BABY MAMA" WILL PULL THE WHOLE CUSTODY AND CHILD SUPPORT CARD AND THE NEW WOMAN WILL RESENT THE KIDS DRAWING A WEDGE BETWEEN THE 2 OF YOU. REMEMBER WHO AND WHAT IS IMPORTANT HERE, THE KIDS.
NEXT TOPIC.... IT'S OVER? vs. IS IT OVER?
Question summary: my relationship is pretty much over but I have not said it, Ive moved on but didnt tell her. I love her but im no lonher in love with her How do I tell her?
IM SORRY TO INFORM YOU I DONT HAVE ANY CUTE ANSWERS HERE. YOU HAVE TO TELL HER STRAIGHT UP AND DOWN NO SMOKE SIGNALS, DIVERSIONS OR DECOYS. JUST SAY HOW YOU FEEL. SHE WILL RESPECT YOU MORE FOR THE TRUTH. IF YOU STRING HER ALONG IT WILL END BADLY NO CHANCE AT SAVING ANYTHING. ITS TIME TO MAN UP AND SAY HOW YOU FEEL. NOW GO, YOU HAVE SOME TALKING TO DO. COME BACK INFORM US OF HOW IT WENT. WE WILL BE HERE, I PROMISE.
*SIGH* WOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THAT WAS A LOT. I STILL HAVE NOT GONE OVER THE TOPICS THAT WERE SENT IN VIA EMAIL OR THROUGH FB. I DIDNT FORGET YOU GUYS. NICKNAMES MIGHT ALSO HELP TO ADDRESS YOU GUYS BETTER TOO. I WILL BE WORKING ON ANOTHER POST FOR TONIGHT. IN THE MEAN WHILE JUST HOLD THIS FOR ME UNTIL LATER.
I LIKE TO LEAVE YOU GUYS ON A POSITIVE NOTE, SO WITH THAT BEING SAID REMEMBER LOVE ISN'T SUPPOSE TO HURT.
XOXO
LOVE,
JEWEL.
New Column: Sex Love & Pain by Jewel
I would like to take this time to formally introduce myself, I am Jewel. I'm a 28 year old New Yorker and self proclaimed know it all. I am the girl that everyone knows and almost everyone likes. I'm no where near perfect but I'm great at being me.
I sometimes think I'm the girl of 1 trillion useless facts but then I end up finding a reason to share what I know and I go back to believing I'm just that dope.
Today and for the rest of my stay here on ET6 I will be using what I know to explore love, sex, happiness and everything in between. I personally have loved and lost. I played the game for keeps and sometimes lost what I thought was my all but ultimately I learned from it all. What I learned was that all is fair in love and sex and as with any other game there will be winners and losers.
By no means am I Dr. Ruth or Dr. Drew and that's a good thing because I'm ME, and I intend on being all the way real.
Life has shown me so much and I have lots of stories of sex, love lust and pain (both my own and some of others) but what I want you and I to do is share.
This is my open letter to you and every week will be a new page.
So without further ado let's talk about sex!!!
Until next week Ciao Bellas,
Love,
Jewel
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