Sex Love and Pain: What's your title?

Dear ET6'ers

OMG how I missed you guys!?! I have had some real life issues (My blackberry and computer crashed at the same damn time the tech Gods were angry with me) within the last 2 weeks and sadly it has caused me to neglect all of you.  I AM SOOOOOOOO VERRRRRRYYYYYY SORRRRRRRRYYYYY! LOL and here's a big wet kiss from me to you :-*.  

OK, no time to waste lots of ground to cover and I don't wanna miss a beat, so shall we dance?

This weeks topic is very touchy and it happened to be submitted by a woman, so the fellas should enjoy this.

Question: Why is it that titles have become so important in relationships and what do I do if I don't get the title I desire in the time that I want it.?

First lets start with a little education, and lets define the word title.

Definition of TITLE (courtesy of our good friends at Websters online Dictionary GET FAMILIAR)

1 a: all the elements constituting legal ownership b: a legally just cause of exclusive possession c: the instrument (as a deed) that is evidence of a right

2 a: something that justifies or substantiates a claim b: an alleged or recognized right

3 a: an appellation of dignity, honor, distinction, or preeminence attached to a person or family by virtue of rank, office, precedent, privilege, attainment, or lands b: a person holding a title especially of nobility 

Keep this definition in mind we will be coming back to this.  

Life demands that we put so much more value on the unseen, unwritten and unimportant things than necessary.  When it comes to matters of the heart its the same remains true.  Titles (when it comes to relationships)  are like unwritten contracts with the other person.  The title lets you know what your limits are and what rights you have in a particular relationship.

Titles played such a HUGE role in my younger relationships, so much so that it caused me humiliation, pain and confusion. In hind sight I now see that most of my heart breaks happened I was in love with the title itself. (go ahead read it again, deep right?)  The title becomes a diversion, a distraction from what is really going on in the relationship.

Ladies, allow me to expose our secrets for a brief minute I promise I won't give too much away.

Fellas pay close attention you may learn something here....

Ladies love the idea of being the ONLY ONE however that's not what we expect from every guy.  What we are looking for is honesty and someone who is real.  Here's where its gets complicated. If I ask you for honesty just be truthful.  If all you wanna do is f#ck be honest, If you just wanna be friends be honest.  In my opinion, (which is the only opinion that counts in life lol) men hear the word honesty and bug the freak out, not even realizing what you are asking him.  The conversation that men dread so much, you know the one that starts with "Babe, what are we, what am I to you?" is imperative to have.  This is your chance to lay down your expectations for whatever it is that you are doing with this female.  If you only want sex, let her know because I can bet my last dollar she only wants the same thing.  That saves you months of weird awkwardness and ducking and dodging phone calls when someone is catching feelings.

The first weeks of a new "courtship" are the best because that is when both men and women PERFORM (as in acting not just sex) the best.  I mean come on ladies we lays it on thick and I'm not just talking about the make-up  We lotion from head to toe in the sweetest smelling lotion we can find (giving ourselves a headache) We even change our vocal tone and our laugh for the first couple of weeks.  The lashes stay full, the breast are extra lifted and the jeans extra tight.  Yeah I'm putting it all out there.  So my question is, what is the incentive to do all of this? You guessed correctly the idea of getting to the next level.  How do you know when you are at the next level? Yup you are right again, when your title changes you see your status change for better or worse.

Lets take this a step further though.... If you are doing all of this extra-ness (yes that's a word, because I said so) for a man who is so perfect and you have know him for 13 days what exactly is driving you to do so? His character or the idea of having a title in relation to this man?  I'm not gonna embarrass any one so when you read this don't make any faces or point your girl friends out just keep it quiet and take in the information ( you can tell home girl to read this though)

Like anything you do in life you want progression and you want to see change.  When you diet, you want to see the scale go down.  When you do a good job at work you wanna see your pay go up and when you go down like a champ (yes now I'm talking about sex) you wanna see that title go up like a winning score.

You see, if you look at that definition its really written to express ownership.  So the title gives you the right to say things like MY boo, My man, My fiance or My husband.  Lets keep it funky though in the hood chicks say things like My boy, My homie, My bff and the infamous MY BRO (lol you can stop fronting now the world now knows you f#cked or s#cked him) This should explain the importance of the Title in a relationship. 

Nowwwww comes the easy part if you are giving the milk away for free there is no reason for him to buy the cow..... and that means exactly what is said.  If you are tossing him the pu$$y, the time, the money (yes I said it) and everything in between why should he commit? I mean hes getting it all anyway without giving you anything but hard d!ck.... The only thing he should give you is a dunce cap for being so dumb.

If you find that you are expecting to move up in the ranks faster than you are actually moving you need to do the following:  A. evaluate yourself and what you are giving in this situation B. evaluate him and how much he's worth C. make a direct comparison and contrast between A and B.  When that is done you have to now analyze the data, if A. is more than B at any point you my friend are that milk giving cow we spoke about.  Its time to close down the welfare line to your cookies and move on.

I mean I can't get any more blunt or straight forward with you gals.  Know your worth and like a price tag let it show, the greatest Love of all is self love. 

In keeping up with the trend I'm leaving you on a positive note, What goes around comes around so make it good.  Send out the positivity and get it all back. *muah*

Love,

 ET6Jewel@gmail.com